Update

As always, I remember that I haven't posted for a while when I start to get a lot of questions about what is going on with our adoption. I so appreciate people asking what is going on. Sadly, the answer is...nothing. Nothing is going on with the adoption. We are still waiting. We talked to our agency a few weeks ago and they said "everyone loves your book."

It has still been a struggle to wait on His timing and to be surrendered to His will. One song that I heard has really ministered to my heart. It's called "Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns and here are the lyrics.

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won't let go

I love how it talks about how there is freedom in surrender. I am a control freak and this is just something I simply cannot control. There is so much freedom when I surrender to what God is doing and what He wants for our family. The song says lay it down and let it go. I continually have to do that.

I also love the chorus and how it talks to how I am not alone, my world is falling into place and He is on the throne. God is not unaware of my circumstances and He is on the throne. I can run to Him and find rest in Him.

The next verse really hit home with me too. If my eyes are on the cross, I will know He loves me and always will. When I let my heart stray away from the gospel and what God has already accomplished for me on the cross then I start to question God and His character. But when my heart is set on the gospel and I remember that God has already met my greatest need (my salvation from my sin) then I am able to take my eyes off my circumstances and look to Him and believe the truth about Him.

I feel like I could write something about every line of this song, but one last thing that I will write about is how not one tear is wasted and that He is making beauty from ashes. This second adoption has felt like a lot of ashes, but He will make it beautiful and there is great hope in that. My life is in His hands and I find great comfort in that.

One other thing that has this whole waiting process bearable for us is our sweet Kaleigh (by the way, am I the only one that can't believe that sweet thing is 3? what in the world?) There are a couple of things about her that have helped. One, is that we remember the process with her. It was so hard to wait but oh my goodness it was so worth the wait. When we think about her and how the process with her was so hard, yet we are unbelievably thankful that the Lord saw fit for her to be our daughter and absolutely cannot imagine life without her. Two, she is so sweet and absolutely hilarious. She says the funniest things and loves giving hugs and kisses. She is such a joy and such a blessing to us. We thank God for her everyday and are so thankful for her birth mom.

So, no real update, but as always God is working in our hearts and teaching us much about Himself.