Kaleigh Month 4

Month 4 has been a big month for us. The biggest news of course is that our adoption is now finalized!!  Yay!! Kaleigh has continued to grow, I seriously can't believe she is 4 months old (see, I told you I would say that every monthly post) At her doctor's appointment last week she weighed 14 lbs. 11 oz. Her head and length were both in the 95th percentile!! I never noticed her head being so big then twice this week I went to put a 3 month shirt on her and couldn't get it over her head-ha! I like to think it's so big because she is already so smart and needs a big brain to hold it all!! Here is our month in pictures:

 Happy Adoption Day!!

 Waiting for a call to finalize the adoption! 

We had the biggest play date ever!! We looked like a stroller posse!

We went for lots and lots of walks

Kaleigh got to meet her uncle Jeb and aunt Cathy in person (not just Facetime!)

Kendall came to visit!!

We went to see aunt Jaye and cousin Graham a couple of times. In case you didn't know, it is pretty much impossible to get a 6 mo. old and 4 mo. old to both look at the camera at the same time!

She started holding toys. This turtle is one of her favorites. 

I just think she's cute so I thought we needed another picture!

Turned 4 months old!!

We sure do love this little girl!

Things she is doing:

*still giggling (melt my heart)

*"talking" a lot more

*holding her toys

*sitting up with assistance

*she also wants to stand so she'll push against you until you help her stand up 

Things she likes:

*being outside (she will be screaming and then we take her outside and she immediately stops)

*holding on to her turtle

*putting things in her mouth (she tries to "kiss" the turtle a lot!)

*going for walks

*other kids (our neighbor's little girl was "tickling" her and she was just giggling and giggling!)

*believe it or not, bath time!!! yay!!! one night she was crying but we had to give her a bath so we put her in and she stopped crying!! 

Things she dislikes:

*there is still lots of crying going on when it's time to burp. It is really the craziest thing. She is so chill 90% of the day, but take that bottle away to burp and you are going to hear about it. Of course, she never does it when someone other than Heath or me is burping her and never if there is anyone else in the room. It's unbelievable, but I have video to prove she goes ballistic on us!! 

*when you don't do what she wants. A friend of our said "she's going to be a diva because she only cries when you do something she doesn't want and then the second you do what she wants she stops." Sad but true. We could be in trouble!!

We love this little girl so much and are so unbelievably thankful for her!

This Mother's Day

As I sit here looking at Kaleigh smile and hit her rattle on her play mat, I cannot help but think of how thankful I am to be her mommy. This is the first Mother's Day for me to actually be a mother. Sometimes it seems surreal and sometimes I feel like it's been this way forever. But Mother's Day has not always been such a happy time for me, and I know for many others this day is such a struggle. My challenge to you this Mother's Day is to be sensitive. Yes, celebrate your mom. Yes, celebrate being a mom. But be sensitive. Here are different types of women you are going to encounter on Mother's Day:

1. More than likely you will be around a woman who desperately wants a child, but cannot conceive. Mother's Day is probably extremely hard for her. The one thing she wants to be, yet can't be, is "in her face" all day (really weekend) long. That's hard. The last two Mother's Days have been really sad for me. There was such a longing in my heart yet it was unfulfilled. Be sensitive to this woman.

2. You also will probably be around a woman who has lost her child either through miscarriage or death. Oh how my heart hurts for these women. Their child was suppose to be there to celebrate with them, yet he/she isn't and it has to be so heartbreaking. I'm sure there is not a day that goes by they don't think about their child, but I would have to think Mother's Day would just bring it more to the forefront of their mind. Be aware of these women and be sensitive to them.

3. Another person you will be around is someone who has lost their mother. I don't know if I've ever said on the blog, but my mother passed away when I was 15. Mother's Day is really hard for those of us who don't have our mom here to celebrate. For me, it was over 15 years ago that my mom died and Mother's Day still makes me miss her terribly. It's like those who have lost children, you think about that person every day, but this holiday just puts it in front of you more. Some people have lost their mother recently and the wound is still so fresh. Be sensitive to these women.

You need to know you will be around these women this weekend and that this weekend is probably very hard for them. Be sensitive in the words you speak to them and in what you talk about. You may have no idea that you are talking to a woman who struggles with any of those, but just be aware that they are out there. If you do know someone who is one of these women, let them know you are thinking about them and use this as a day to encourage them and pray for them.

Again, I know that isn't an exhaustive list of who Mother's Day is hard for, but my encouragement is to just be aware of all the situations and respond appropriately. I will spend the day being celebrated and celebrating my mother-in-law, but I will also spend the day praying for many sweet friends who are in the middle of some of these struggles. I encourage you to do the same!

Ministering to those in the midst of infertility

In the last several weeks I have talked with several people who are experiencing infertility or are dear friends with someone who is experiencing it. When I hear their stories my heart breaks all over again. Infertility is hard and it's not something a lot of people talk openly about. I'm thankful God is using our infertility to be able to minister to others. I thought I would write out some pointers to those who are in the middle of infertility and some pointers to those who are ministering to those who are in the middle of it. I am by no means an expert and this list is not exhaustive and maybe all of these things will be no help at all, but I just thought I'd share my two cents worth!

To those in the middle of infertility:

1. You are not alone. I think this is a time in our lives where we can easily believe the lie that we are alone. It seems like everyone around you is pregnant or just had a baby and that can make you feel unbelievably lonely in your struggle. I know I did. But know that you are not alone. There are many women all over the world who desperately want to have a baby and can't right now. Please don't buy into the lie that you are alone. 

2. Use this time to press deeper into your walk with the Lord. I know I have said this probably several times before, but "go there" with God. Ask the hard questions, tell Him your frustrations and hurts, be honest with him. Let God speak truth to the broken places in your heart. 

3. Let people in. Don't do this alone. I'm not saying you have to tell every person you know, but let people in. For some that may be 1-2 people, for others it could be your entire church family, and there is a whole lot of room in between that! But I really urge you to not go through this alone. God created us to live in community. Also, it is so good to talk through your emotions and to have others know how to specifically pray for you. 

To those who are ministering:

1. Be a good listener. Let your friend get it all out on you. Don't try to "fix" it. It's not something you can "fix" no matter how much you want to, so take the pressure off yourself and just listen. What your friend probably needs is just someone to talk to. She probably isn't coming to you for answers, just a listening ear. I was blessed to have many friends who were just listening ears for me and it was such a gift.

2. If you have a child/are pregnant, please be sensitive. Don't constantly talk about your child or children. Now that I have a child, it seems like all I want to do is talk about her and show pictures of her. But I also want to be sensitive to those who don't have children but want them (or have a child but want more) I love all the children that my friends have, but during infertility it would have been extremely difficult if all they talked about was there kids. There are lots of other things to talk about so just think well for your friends and be sensitive to them.

3. Don't act like they aren't walking through a hard season. Ask them about it (obviously not always, but do ask). Ask how they are doing and what you can pray for them. Just don't ignore it. 

Like I said, not an exhaustive list, but a list none the less. I hope it is helpful!