Pruning

I realized today that I have been talking a lot about the details of our adoption and not a lot about what is going on in my heart. I want this blog to be a healthy balance of both. So since it's been a while, I decided to write some about my heart.

A few weeks ago, early on a Friday morning, I met up with some sweet friends for breakfast at Panera. After they left I decided to stay a while and get some extended time reading the Bible and praying. Little did I know what God wanted to teach me that day. I am going through a devotional book called Jesus Calling (side note- I'm not super big on devotional books, but I LOVE this one! This is my second time going through it. I highly, highly recommend it!) I honestly don't even remember what the book was talking about that day, but I do know it led me to John 15.

John 15 is a familiar passage to me. I remember asking God to help me read it with a freshness. I've read it so much it can easily just be a quick read and then shut my Bible. But that day was meant for extended time so I read over verses 1-16, but I focused in on verses 2 and 7.

Verse 2 of chapter 15 hit me like a ton of bricks. It says "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." A few years ago I read a book called "Biblical Womanhood in the Home"(another book I recommend) and one of the chapters is called "Pruned to Bloom." Reading this verse took me back to that chapter. Anyway, the bottom line of what I got out of this verse that day is that I am being pruned right now. Pruning hurts. I'm no green thumb so I don't know exactly what pruning entails, but I know you go and cut dead stuff off the plants with some oversized scissor looking things (excuse my ignorance). I'm sure if plants could talk they would say they don't really enjoy pruning, that it hurts to have those sharp things come an cut off part of you. I feel the same way. I'm not a fan of pruning, it hurts and I'd just rather not go through it. What got my attention on that day though was the result of the pruning-bearing more fruit. Just like when a plant gets pruned the end result is more fruit (more flowers), so it is with me. God is going to prune me sometimes. He's going to come in do some cutting away and it's going to hurt, but in the end I will bear more fruit which will make me more like His Son which is ultimately what I want anyway.

To sum it up, I think God is using infertility and even the adoption process (although it's way more fun than infertility!) to prune me. He's using it to reveal my heart and come in cut the ugly stuff off. But His heart in it is so good. He is wanting me to bear more fruit, to be more like Jesus. I love it! I don't love the process, but I love the end result. I have come to a place where I want Him to prune me, no matter how much it hurts, because what I want more than anything is to be more like Jesus.

I will have to tell you what I got out of verse 7 later. I got carried away sharing what He is doing in my heart from verse 2!! He really is so good to us no matter where we are on this beautiful journey!