Choosing Gratefulness

Well we are in full swing here at the Racine house. We've got lots of diapers, lots of wipes, lots of Enfamil, lots of bottles, etc. One thing we don't have is lots of sleep-ha! To be honest, Kaleigh is a really good baby and hardly ever cries. She is a great eater-she's gained 2 pounds since birth! She sleeps great for the most part and is overall just really content.

However, when the clock strikes 2:45 a.m. and it's time to get up and feed her, there is always a part of me that just wants to lay there and keep sleeping. I mean, we've all been there right? But here is what I have been thinking about a lot in the last few weeks. I am grateful that I get to get up at 2:45 a.m. because that means God has answered our prayers for a child. It means our baby girl is healthy. It means she is growing.

I see though in my heart how I can be like the Israelites from the Old Testament. They continually asked God to deliver them from the Egyptians. He did it, He answered their prayers. He even split the Red Sea to show His power. And what did they do the whole time? They complained. Seriously? God answered your prayers and you complain about it?

Then I remember 2:45 a.m. I prayed for this (maybe not specifically to get up at 2:45!!ha). But I prayed for a child and God provided for us. Why would I now then complain about that very thing? But I do it in my heart. I am like the Israelites.

I want to chose gratefulness. I don't want to complain about her. Honestly, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people complain about their kids on Facebook, especially if I know they have had a hard time getting pregnant. But I see the tendency in my heart. I see how I want to complain about having to feed her again or change her diaper or if she doesn't sleep well. I know that I will complain about her. Even if it's not out loud I will do it in my heart. But I am really asking God to help me choose gratefulness.

The funny thing is, I thought on Sunday that I wanted to write about this and that night was one of her worst nights and Monday was one of her worst days. Ha! I saw how easily I complained in my heart. But I think the victory was that in the midst of my complaining I was asking God to help me be grateful. I didn't do it perfectly (and I never will), but I saw how at times when I knew I would normally complain, I spent time praying, thanking God for this sweet gift. I pray God will continue to give me grace to chose gratefulness.