Intimacy

Let me just go ahead and put this out there, I"m not going to give you all the details of the intimate part of our life, but I do think this is an important subject to talk about because infertility really does effect your intimacy. I'm going to use the word sex, probably a lot, so if you don't want to hear about it, just tune in again next week and I promise I'll be on a different subject :)

Being intimate, like really intimate, with your husband (or wife if you're a man) as you struggle through infertility is just hard. Anyone who is going through this or has gone through it knows that your doctor basically tells you when to have sex. It doesn't matter if you have had the longest day of your life, if you're so tired that you want to go to bed at 7 p.m. or if you've just gotten in a huge fight with your spouse...if it's one of the days your doctor told you to have sex, you better be having sex. Heath and I have really struggled with this. Not that we don't want to have sex, we just don't like it to be so scheduled.

At first, the whole schedule of when we had to have sex wasn't a big deal, but it has really started to take it's toll on us. It has been a real pressure thing for us both. We find that instead of really enjoying each other, we are just going through the motions because those days are our one shot for the whole month to have any chance of getting pregnant. I don't really know what the solution is though. It's just another thing we are learning about and growing in.

I wanted to write this not because I have all the answers-clearly I don't-but because I do think the longer your deal with infertility the more your intimacy is effected. I wanted to just get it out there so that if you're reading this and you're struggling through infertility you will know that you are not alone in your struggle for intimacy amidst infertility. It's a battle, but I want to keep fighting.